The End. Fin. Scene. Happily Ever After.
Those are all ways that stories end. How we know that time is frozen for the characters or that the rest of their lives will be all rainbows and butterflies. Then, we go about our own lives. We put the book down or leave the theater and resume where we left off.
So, what about the stories that we live? What about those endings?
Sometimes, we know when something is about to end & we can take in the moments differently. I know that my last few days of high school were all about "Guys! This is the last time we will eat lunch at school/get my books out of my locker/chat before the 2 minute bell rings!" or "I will never have to listen to that teacher blab on about **insert least favorite subject** again."
Right now, I'm having those moments. Excited that this is *crossing my fingers* about to be my last semester of college ever. With the endings we know about, there are always those actions we spend extra time on, or appreciate a little more than usual.
Then, there are the endings we aren't prepared for. Ones that aren't marked on a calendar or anticipated. They aren't a due date for a paper or a special anniversary that you've made plans for months in advance. These endings, or losses, can be devastating. Something I'm slowly learning is that it's okay that there might be a giant gaping hole where something was lost, where an ending made its mark, but it does get you thinking about those last moments that you didn't realize should be treasured. The last kiss with someone you love, the last shared laugh with a friend, the last hug from a parent, the last walk through a favorite place, the last time you'll ever have the ability to do a certain thing.
When things end, you are stuck with the memories. Whether you knew it was coming or not, that is all that you've got. These memories will sneak up on you, little reminders that you didn't know would hide under the surface. Sometimes, it's a silly joke & it makes you giggle in front of a random person and there is no possible way for you to explain what just happened.
Everything comes to an end- regardless of how we feel. Relationships, jobs, times of our life- situations good or bad, being loved or suffering- it all ends at some point. I think I have finally gotten around to making sure that I enjoy the important moments as they happen, instead of appreciating them after they are gone.
Basically, I am sharing this oh-so-profound moment of mine because my favorite part about this type of thinking is that it gives me a reason to look a little more closely at things. In November, I thought about what I was thankful for each day, but in December, I have made it a point to pick out the specific things about people/places that I would miss the most, and in turn it has made me appreciate them now even more than ever. I have these traits tucked away- a favorite laugh, a phrase or word that is always said, the goofy story that gets told every time but will never get old. You'd be surprised how much more there is to notice when you do it on purpose.
It obviously won't keep an end from coming out of no where, but stock piling good things now definitely can't hurt.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Not Like the Movies
Every once in a while, I treat myself to something I wouldn't normally buy & recently it was the Katy Perry CD. I love it for all sorts of reasons and I don't feel bad about it- so don't judge.
Anyways, for a really long time I have been wondering where the love stories come from that so many people write about. The ones that make it into books, movies, poems, plays, and songs. Those feelings have to come from somewhere. Yes, people are talented & have wild imaginations, but even a sliver of the love and excitement that can be found in those stories is pretty amazing, so it has to be real to some degree. There are people that say that romantic movies are unrealistic and give people disillusioned ideas of what love is like & I say that those people suck.
It's out there. That one of a kind, knock you on your butt, crazy about each other love is there, waiting to be found. Why shouldn't it be like the movies? Who makes rules like that anyways? It isn't supposed to be easy until the moment you get there, which is zero fun. Being hurt by people who aren't right for you is so frustrating, but they have to play their part. You have to have the crappy people in order to recognize and appreciate the good people, you have to have the failed love stories so that the successful one is better than anything you have ever experienced before. Sure, there probably won't be some movie montage with a perfect song for what you are feeling along the way, but hey- you could probably make one if that is what will help you believe.
There is a video called "Flame" that I had the opportunity to watch this semester & it talks about there actually being 3 different meanings of love (due to the fact that there are 3 words for love in the Hebrew language), and each one has to be present in order for it to be real. There is the friendship/committment aspect, the love story/soul mate aspect, and then of course the physical aspect. Each one represents something so different in a relationship & when they are all together- you get that perfect love story.
So, back to Katy Perry. When the song "Not Like The Movies" came on, it solidified everything I was thinking and hoping for. It's out there, for me, somewhere. I won't settle & I won't give up hope. I might already know him, I might meet him next week, or next year, but the fact that he's out there somewhere is enough encouragement for now.
He put it on me, I put it on,
Like there was nothing wrong.
It didn't fit,
It wasn't right.
Wasn't just the size.
They say you know,
When you know.
I don't know.
I didn't feel
The fairytale feeling, no.
Am I a stupid girl
For even dreaming that I could.
If it's not like the movies,
That's how it should be, yeah.
When he's the one,
I'll come undone,
And my world will stop spinning
And that's just the beginning, yeah.
Snow white said when I was young,
"One day my prince will come."
So I wait for that date.
They say its hard to meet your match,
Find my better half.
So we make perfect shapes.
If stars don't align,
If it doesn't stop time,
If you cant see the sign,
Wait for it.
One hundred percent,
With every penny spent.
He'll be the one that,
Finishes your sentences.
If it's not like the movies,
That's how it should be.
When he's the one,
He'll come undone,
And my world will stop spinning,
And that's just the beginning.
'Cause I know you're out there,
And you're, you're looking for me.
It's a crazy idea that you were made,
Perfectly for me you'll see.
Just like the movies.
That's how it will be.
Cinematic and dramatic with the perfect ending.
It's not like the movies,
But that's how it will be.
When he's the one,
You'll come undone,
And your world will stop spinning,
And it's just the beginning.
Anyways, for a really long time I have been wondering where the love stories come from that so many people write about. The ones that make it into books, movies, poems, plays, and songs. Those feelings have to come from somewhere. Yes, people are talented & have wild imaginations, but even a sliver of the love and excitement that can be found in those stories is pretty amazing, so it has to be real to some degree. There are people that say that romantic movies are unrealistic and give people disillusioned ideas of what love is like & I say that those people suck.
It's out there. That one of a kind, knock you on your butt, crazy about each other love is there, waiting to be found. Why shouldn't it be like the movies? Who makes rules like that anyways? It isn't supposed to be easy until the moment you get there, which is zero fun. Being hurt by people who aren't right for you is so frustrating, but they have to play their part. You have to have the crappy people in order to recognize and appreciate the good people, you have to have the failed love stories so that the successful one is better than anything you have ever experienced before. Sure, there probably won't be some movie montage with a perfect song for what you are feeling along the way, but hey- you could probably make one if that is what will help you believe.
There is a video called "Flame" that I had the opportunity to watch this semester & it talks about there actually being 3 different meanings of love (due to the fact that there are 3 words for love in the Hebrew language), and each one has to be present in order for it to be real. There is the friendship/committment aspect, the love story/soul mate aspect, and then of course the physical aspect. Each one represents something so different in a relationship & when they are all together- you get that perfect love story.
So, back to Katy Perry. When the song "Not Like The Movies" came on, it solidified everything I was thinking and hoping for. It's out there, for me, somewhere. I won't settle & I won't give up hope. I might already know him, I might meet him next week, or next year, but the fact that he's out there somewhere is enough encouragement for now.
He put it on me, I put it on,
Like there was nothing wrong.
It didn't fit,
It wasn't right.
Wasn't just the size.
They say you know,
When you know.
I don't know.
I didn't feel
The fairytale feeling, no.
Am I a stupid girl
For even dreaming that I could.
If it's not like the movies,
That's how it should be, yeah.
When he's the one,
I'll come undone,
And my world will stop spinning
And that's just the beginning, yeah.
Snow white said when I was young,
"One day my prince will come."
So I wait for that date.
They say its hard to meet your match,
Find my better half.
So we make perfect shapes.
If stars don't align,
If it doesn't stop time,
If you cant see the sign,
Wait for it.
One hundred percent,
With every penny spent.
He'll be the one that,
Finishes your sentences.
If it's not like the movies,
That's how it should be.
When he's the one,
He'll come undone,
And my world will stop spinning,
And that's just the beginning.
'Cause I know you're out there,
And you're, you're looking for me.
It's a crazy idea that you were made,
Perfectly for me you'll see.
Just like the movies.
That's how it will be.
Cinematic and dramatic with the perfect ending.
It's not like the movies,
But that's how it will be.
When he's the one,
You'll come undone,
And your world will stop spinning,
And it's just the beginning.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
I bet you'll never guess...
All month long, I have made it a point to post something each day that specifically stuck out to me to be thankful for. One reason- well, it's November which equals Thanksgiving. Second reason- it made me really stop for a minute once a day & be grateful. It sounds silly, but it is such a simple thing to do that I think people overlook & it can change your outlook in a big way.
Besides the little things each day, I also focused on what I was most thankful for out of everything in the whole world & it is without a doubt my family.
I know, I know, how original right? I bet that was posted millions of times on Facebook statuses & said around tables & on elementary school assignments everywhere this past month, but mine comes from somewhere a little different.
Disclaimer-I am in no way saying that my family is better than anyone else's or that I am more thankful- just that it is different.
Most families come out of two people falling in love and making babies and marriage and more babies and they have jokes and traditions and fights and they all love each other all the time. Not mine.
My immediate family was born out of forgiveness, second chances, and understanding. It took us a good 10 years apart to learn how to be a family together & I honestly would not have it any other way. We would not be the people we are without that time, we would not appreciate each other in the incredible way that we do without all the hurt and frustration. One of my favorite things is that we have all taken completely different paths & somehow we all wound up on the same page. We enjoy the same things, we are all more connected to our faith, we laugh at the same jokes, it's like we never skipped a beat.
Now that we have "found" each other again, everything else is managing to fall back into place. The family friends that we had lost touch with- that have managed to not change a single bit since I was little- are still there and it's like no time has passed. Instead of remembering hurt feelings or placing blame, we can't get over how lucky we are to be back in this place together. We are making great memories and starting traditions and it really seems to get better every time.
As cliche and silly as it sounds- everything happens for a reason. And there is no feeling comparable to the moment you realize the amazing reason behind a hard time.
If you would have asked me a little over a year ago, I wouldn't have honestly had many good things to say and felt like an orphan of sorts...but now?
I have a daddy, brothers, sisters, in-laws, nieces, a nephew, a new something coming & a Kathy. PLUS- everyone who became family and prepared me for what I have now.
Thanks for making me such a lucky girl!
Besides the little things each day, I also focused on what I was most thankful for out of everything in the whole world & it is without a doubt my family.
I know, I know, how original right? I bet that was posted millions of times on Facebook statuses & said around tables & on elementary school assignments everywhere this past month, but mine comes from somewhere a little different.
Disclaimer-I am in no way saying that my family is better than anyone else's or that I am more thankful- just that it is different.
Most families come out of two people falling in love and making babies and marriage and more babies and they have jokes and traditions and fights and they all love each other all the time. Not mine.
My immediate family was born out of forgiveness, second chances, and understanding. It took us a good 10 years apart to learn how to be a family together & I honestly would not have it any other way. We would not be the people we are without that time, we would not appreciate each other in the incredible way that we do without all the hurt and frustration. One of my favorite things is that we have all taken completely different paths & somehow we all wound up on the same page. We enjoy the same things, we are all more connected to our faith, we laugh at the same jokes, it's like we never skipped a beat.
Now that we have "found" each other again, everything else is managing to fall back into place. The family friends that we had lost touch with- that have managed to not change a single bit since I was little- are still there and it's like no time has passed. Instead of remembering hurt feelings or placing blame, we can't get over how lucky we are to be back in this place together. We are making great memories and starting traditions and it really seems to get better every time.
As cliche and silly as it sounds- everything happens for a reason. And there is no feeling comparable to the moment you realize the amazing reason behind a hard time.
If you would have asked me a little over a year ago, I wouldn't have honestly had many good things to say and felt like an orphan of sorts...but now?
I have a daddy, brothers, sisters, in-laws, nieces, a nephew, a new something coming & a Kathy. PLUS- everyone who became family and prepared me for what I have now.
Thanks for making me such a lucky girl!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Back to Work
Yesterday was my first day back to work after having 9 days off for vacation. I was, strangely, excited to go back. I went home to KC for a few days to see family, went to the Renaissance Festival with some awesome pirates, and spent a day visiting my beautiful friend Sarah, but other than that I did a whole lot of nothing. I thought I would have a chance to be extremely productive and get ahead in all my classes, but I found that not going to work actually made me less motivated than ever. So, when Monday rolled around, I was ready to get back to work, no matter what disaster I might walk into.
A funny thing happened on the way to work though. When I stopped to get my coffee (which I have recently discovered is really the best way to start every day) I ended up running into a customer that comes in quite a bit. She was genuinely happy to see me and said that she was excited for the holiday season because she always has so many more reasons to come in and visit us all. I was already glad to get back, but that simple interaction made me remember how lucky I am to enjoy what I do.
Sure, some days I can't wait to get home. Some days, I want to walk out in the middle of the day and never look back. But when I really take a second to think about it, I love my job. I love getting the opportunity to make someones day by doing something incredibly easy, or by making sense of something that starts as a huge mess.
It isn't my career, but it's definitely a nice rest stop on the road to my career while I'm finishing school.
In case you were wondering, I walked into a mess, with lots of questions & problems that I didn't have answers for right away, but it was still an awesome day.
A funny thing happened on the way to work though. When I stopped to get my coffee (which I have recently discovered is really the best way to start every day) I ended up running into a customer that comes in quite a bit. She was genuinely happy to see me and said that she was excited for the holiday season because she always has so many more reasons to come in and visit us all. I was already glad to get back, but that simple interaction made me remember how lucky I am to enjoy what I do.
Sure, some days I can't wait to get home. Some days, I want to walk out in the middle of the day and never look back. But when I really take a second to think about it, I love my job. I love getting the opportunity to make someones day by doing something incredibly easy, or by making sense of something that starts as a huge mess.
It isn't my career, but it's definitely a nice rest stop on the road to my career while I'm finishing school.
In case you were wondering, I walked into a mess, with lots of questions & problems that I didn't have answers for right away, but it was still an awesome day.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
It Covers Me
I think the last time I did this was before Xanga went out of style, but I imagine I’ll get the hang of it soon.
Recently, lots of things have changed for me. Some changes have been awesome, some have been pretty rough, but those changes have made me realize that the most important word in that sentence is ME. For most of my existence, my life has been about other people. What other people expect from me, what makes other people happy, what everyone else wants. It’s been a very long time since I have made decisions based on what I want & need. So, I have decided, all by myself, that this next year is all about me. A year dedicated to doing things that are important to me & that will better me. It might sound selfish, but I feel like it might be one of the greatest things I will ever accomplish.
So, this is going to serve as my way to share this year with the people that care about me. I will share happy things, sad things, fantastic things, not so fantastic things, and every little thing in between that has to do with this journey. I have a growing list of things I plan to do & I could not be more excited to start crossing them off.
“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound. Amazing love, now flowing down. From hands and feet, that were nailed to the tree, Your grace flows down & covers me. It covers me, it covers me, it covers me.”
Recently, lots of things have changed for me. Some changes have been awesome, some have been pretty rough, but those changes have made me realize that the most important word in that sentence is ME. For most of my existence, my life has been about other people. What other people expect from me, what makes other people happy, what everyone else wants. It’s been a very long time since I have made decisions based on what I want & need. So, I have decided, all by myself, that this next year is all about me. A year dedicated to doing things that are important to me & that will better me. It might sound selfish, but I feel like it might be one of the greatest things I will ever accomplish.
So, this is going to serve as my way to share this year with the people that care about me. I will share happy things, sad things, fantastic things, not so fantastic things, and every little thing in between that has to do with this journey. I have a growing list of things I plan to do & I could not be more excited to start crossing them off.
“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound. Amazing love, now flowing down. From hands and feet, that were nailed to the tree, Your grace flows down & covers me. It covers me, it covers me, it covers me.”
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