Over the next few posts, I am going to describe those people and what they have taught me. Some will be obvious, some won't. However, the point isn't to introduce you to specific people in my life, but to share how surprised I have been by people and how important it is to give people a chance, regardless of first impressions or preconceived ideas. I have been working on this for a while, and while it would be incredibly easy start with those I got along with right away, I realized it would be more fun to start with one that challenged me the most. Enjoy!
The People You Meet...That Don't Like You At First:
About 6 months ago, I met a gentleman that completely challenged everything that I liked about myself. This guy was respectful, intelligent, kind, and was an incredible man of God. But, he just didn’t really have a whole lot of interest in getting to know me beneath the surface. For me, that was a huge blow to the ego. I know that not everyone is going to like me, but there are certain groups of people or places you go that you expect to be accepted pretty much all the time, and this was one of those times and I was at a loss for what I had done wrong. We were so similar in so many ways, but yet there was something vastly different about us that refused to click. Whether that was a personality thing or a specific person thing, I will leave unsaid, but it never went beyond being cordial acquaintances. It shook me and was unable to hide it. When it comes to emotion- I don’t pretend very well. I would get in my car and question everything I had just said and done, trying to figure out how it could have gone differently. I would be angry at him, and then self conscious and blame myself and be upset that I wasn't showing enough grace. For a little while, I tried to be as on the surface as he was, with zero investment in him. Clearly no friendship was necessary and I needed to focus my energy elsewhere.
We continued to be in this…something awful-ship…until I finally decided that I no longer cared about working to get him to like me, but that I also couldn't act like I didn't care about him as a person. So I chose to be even more transparent and honest than usual. I was tired of compromising who I was to please someone else. Then, finally, something pretty neat happened. We were able to share with each other the things that we were unable to verbalize to other people. We could say things that we usually kept to ourselves because, if we already weren't getting along, what did we have to lose?
Because of him, and our completely unorthodox friendship, I have learned a lot of what I am missing, a lot of who I wish I was, and what I want and need in myself before I can expect anyone else to be it for me. He says the things that I am thinking, without realizing it. He makes me laugh when I want to scream. During a serious conversation, we can look at each other and laugh because of something completely unrelated and appreciate the moment as it comes. As frustrating as he can be, I see so much greatness and opportunity in his life and in him as a man.
I am grateful for the things our friendship has taught me, things that I wouldn’t have learned about myself, and others, had it been easy all the time. I am a better friend, a better leader, a better person, and a better Christian because of him, because I know how it feels to be challenged. I have become more comfortable defending why I am the way that I am, and how to adjust it according to what others need from me. We don’t agree on many things, but we agree on the real things. I think of how the last 6 months would have been different had I met someone else in his place, and I wouldn't change a thing. I am constantly surprised by him, and I see now why it was difficult for us in the beginning, and I appreciate him for it, because he stood his ground. When I get bad news or need a reality check, or have a thought that sounds insane in my head, I know that he will understand and say the words that others won't or can't.
It is not every day that you find someone that can make you leave one conversation in tears of frustration, and another in tears from laughing too hard, and leave both feeling just as appreciative for their presence in your life.
I am grateful for the things our friendship has taught me, things that I wouldn’t have learned about myself, and others, had it been easy all the time. I am a better friend, a better leader, a better person, and a better Christian because of him, because I know how it feels to be challenged. I have become more comfortable defending why I am the way that I am, and how to adjust it according to what others need from me. We don’t agree on many things, but we agree on the real things. I think of how the last 6 months would have been different had I met someone else in his place, and I wouldn't change a thing. I am constantly surprised by him, and I see now why it was difficult for us in the beginning, and I appreciate him for it, because he stood his ground. When I get bad news or need a reality check, or have a thought that sounds insane in my head, I know that he will understand and say the words that others won't or can't.
It is not every day that you find someone that can make you leave one conversation in tears of frustration, and another in tears from laughing too hard, and leave both feeling just as appreciative for their presence in your life.
